Haikus for Jews

A few years ago, my best friend and I found ourselves in the deep depths of boredom. The holiday season was quickly approaching and we had already baked piles of cookies, wrapped up our shopping, and watched “Miracle on 34th Street” 34 times. After receiving the ubiquitous “Haikus for Jews” as an early Hanukkah gift, we read through the book several times and realized that although the haikus were funny, they were lacking that certain je ne sais quoi. After putting some food for thought in our bellies, we oiled up our sophomoric funny bones and got to work. As I reminisce and take a stroll down memory lane, I pulled out a few “oldies but goodies” from our literary bag of tricks. Of course, being Jews, we made most of them about food……..

More Haikus for Jews
by Danielle Lipes and Kate Sonders

the hard matzo ball
better than the floating kind
it makes me quiver

I ate the brisket
oiy how it filled my tummy
no room for the borscht

I want a pickle
with my pastrami sandwich
at the Jew deli

sips of red, red wine
Manishevitz makes me smile
bring on the plum wine

afikomen now
matzo, matzo burning bright
I smell your presence

I cook the koogle
with potato or noodle
I like sweet and salt

chewy and Jewy
gefilte fish is spongy
gelatin surrounds

sing the four questions
salt water and potato
precedes the ten plagues

Woody Allen sits
at a table in Times Square
Carnegie Deli